A Pirate, 200 Years Too Late
by Benji The Vampire Confuser
Summary: Crossover with Pirates of the Caribbean. A spell gone awry has unforseen consequences for Xander as the spirit of a famous ancestor takes up residence in his body.
1. He's a Pirate

**A Pirate, 200 Years Too Late**

**Part of the Omniverse Project**

**By Benji: The Vampire Confuser**

_Based on Characters and situations created by Joss Whedon, and Disney._

Xander Harris didn't get intimidated as easily these days as he used to. But when a 7ft tall Fomori has you by the throat, you tend to give it your full attention.

"Stand aside mortal, it is not your soul I seek tonight. Where is the Slayer?"

"Uhm, this isn't a good time." Xander said. "Can you come back tomorrow? Say, sevenish?"

"Bah! No matter, her scent is thick in this place. You need not tell me where she is. But you will herald my arrival."

"No wait!" Xander shouted frantically, to no avail. The Fomori threw him through the closed door behind him into the center of the room beyond. He never felt himself hit the floor, as energy from the magic being performed coursed through his body. He was unconscious by the time he landed.

"Now you die Slayer!" boomed the unwelcome visitor. He stepped ominously into the room and froze. "Slayers? Plural?! Aw poop."

It was a short fight.

"Is he okay?" Faith asked, leaning over the boy's prone body.

Felicia, the med student recently recruited into the Slayers' ranks, finished her examination. "Physically he's fine." She said. "Pulse and respiration are strong and steady, and there's no sign of shock. However that was a huge magic blast he took."

"He hit ground zero before the magic could be distilled." Willow said, concern plain on her face. "It was supposed to be spread out among all 20 of you. And it wasn't meant for non-Slayers at all." The spell, a complicated procedure had been meant to allow the slayers to commune with the spirits of their predecessors.

"Willow, "Buffy asked carefully. "What could this spell have done to him?""I don't know," Willow answered. "Maybe nothing, maybe-"

Xander grunted and sat up. He blinked blearily and a look of confusion came across his face. One hand came up to his eye patch. Frowning, he tentatively moved a finger under the patch.

"Xander?"

Buffy's voice made him take sudden notice of his surroundings. With a slow lascivious grin, he stood, and bowed with a flourish.

"How do you do ladies?" he asked. Willow gasped, Buffy blanched. Xander's voice had turned gravely, and he spoke with a slurred English accent.

"Allow me to introduce myself.." he continued. "Captain Jack Sparrow, at your service."

"Your spell made him insane!" Buffy hissed. "Fix it!"

Willow looked across the room where Faith was drawing great amusement in distracting Xander, or Jack as he called himself. "I don't know how to fix it." She said. "But I don't think it made him insane. In sixth grade we had to do a report on our ancestors. Xander did his on his great great great give or take grandfather. A Pirate named-"

"Jack Sparrow." Buffy finished. Then it hit her. "A pirate?!"

"Exactly, I think Xander's been possessed by his ancestor."

"A pirate?!"

"You needn't say that with such alarm love." Xander defended himself, sauntering over to the pair. "It so happens, that many pirates, including myself are very fine fellows indeed.

"Now although I've greatly enjoyed being distracted by this strapping young lass, perhaps someone could explain to me what happened to my eye, and who cut my hair, shaved me and for that matter what I'm doing here, in this…very interesting ensemble."

"It's kind of a long story." Willow said.

"It's 2003, and you're possessing the body of one of your descendants." Buffy explained.

"Apparently not that long." Willow said.

"That's interesting."

To Be Continued…


	2. The Head

**Chapter 2**

Jack flipped through the history book the red head had given him. The blonde had been against it at first, whispering something about a "time paradox", but Willow had assured her that no time travel was involved. Merely a case of spirit possession. He'd asked her why he couldn't remember the afterlife at all.

"That's a philosophical discussion she doesn't have time to get into right now." Buffy had said. "She has to figure out how to send you back."

Jack paused at a paragraph about Blackbeard. "Poor bastard." He muttered. "We were the gypsies of the sea, some of us more famous than the queen herself. And we're all boiled down to a paragraph in a book."

He kept flipping. Two World Wars, the British Empire collapsed, the rise and decline of some new system of government, explosives that could level entire cities, ways of communication that had never occurred to anyone in his day. He wasn't sure what was stranger, his being here in this time and this body, or the fact that man had walked on the moon. WALKED ON THE MOON!

Who had come up with that idea?

Finishing his business, he rose from the head (toilet they'd called it), and closed the lid. Then he lifted it again. He kind of wanted to see this. Pushing down on the handle that Faith had shown him, he watched in morbid fascination as water and waste swirled out of sight, and clean water replaced it. At least there'd been SOME advances in technology that were worthwhile.

He pulled up his pants and looked at himself in the mirror. Nope, he just didn't quite see it. Maybe if the boy still had both eyes it'd be easier to see the family resemblance. Of course after a few hundred years of breeding, some of his characteristics could have gone away. Still, nice to see that the old Sparrow good looks had continued their course. Though land life seemed to have added a bit of weight that didn't need to be there. But there was muscle hiding under all that. He could tell that young Harris worked hard. The calluses on his hands were almost worthy of a sailor.

Deciding it was time to face the world, he swung open the door. "Right then!" he said. "Tell me about myself."

To Be Continued…


	3. The World According to Andrew

**Chapter 3**

"Sit my friend," Andrew began. "Make yourself comfortable, for the tale I'm to tell you is a long one. The story of Alexander LaVelle Harris is one of danger, horror, adventure, courage, and tragic love."

Jack sat back in the, long cushioned bench they called a sofa. This boy was obviously relishing the opportunity to tell the tale. And it would be a shame to disappoint the great pouf.

Andrew for his part, knew almost nothing about Xander's part in the saga of Sunnydale California. Before his own recruitment into the scoobies, he was aware of only the barest details. Hardly enough to make for an entertaining story.

But in the words of one of his idols, Geoffrey Chaucer from A Knight's Tale, a writer gave the truth scope. Jack Sparrow, by all accounts, had been a legend among pirates. And by god, Andrew intended to make sure Xander looked like a worthy descendant.

"The small hamlet of Sunnydale, in the state of California, was to all outward appearances, a peaceful little town. But all was not as it appeared. The populace went about their daily lives, blissfully ignorant of the eldritch horrors lurking just beneath their feet. Monsters prowled the streets at night, preying on the unwary. Even the town's Mayor, Richard Wilkins served the Dark Forces, surviving for centuries through his dealings with the denizens of hell.

"Into the midst of this chaos was born Xander Harris. A boy who like the town in which he resided, was more than what he seemed. A diamond in the rough. For though he allowed the world to believe him weak, he had a destiny greater than any could have dreamed. His peers thought him a fool, and laughed at his zany antics. But he let them laugh, and little heeded them. But for that laughter, the dark knowledge he possessed would have driven him mad."

*SNAP-HISS*

Xander's enchanted blade of light ignited in the dark of the club, humming with holy energy.

"Get the civilians out." Xander commanded, never taking his eyes off the monstrosity before him. The monstrosity that until the previous evening, he had called friend.

Giles nodded curtly and with the aid of Willow, began to ferry the frightened Bronze patrons to safety.

Jesse threw back the hood of his dark cloak, his vampiric visage enough to terrify a lesser man. But Xander merely felt remorse.

"Xander," Jesse grinned. "Come on, it's me, Jesse. You don't want to fight me do you?"

"You're not Jesse." Xander countered. "You're the thing that killed him."

"So be it." With a hiss, Jesse ignited his own enchanted blade, the dark twin to the saber wielded by Xander. "Your blood will feed the Master."

"Your harvest ends here." Xander declared, and with a crackling of power, the two blades crossed.

Buffy buried her face in her hands. Willow's shoulders shook with giggles that threatened to spill over her hand clamped over her own mouth. Faith shook her head in amusement. "Never knew Drew had it so bad for Xand."

"A light saber duel?!" Dawn whispered, nearly falling out of her seat with mirth. "Xander accidentally staked Jesse, and Andrew's turning into a light saber duel?!"

"Land ho Cap'n!" the lookout shouted from the crow's nest.

Black James Kidd took up the telescope from the holster at his side and looked off into the dark before them. Sure enough, the lights of the city loomed ahead.

"Excellent." He hissed. "Time for some shore leave gents!" he shouted.

"AARRRRR!!" his crew cheered in response. It had been a long hard voyage from the coast of Africa. Many a time they had thought they'd waste away to nothing in the doldrums. It had been a week since they'd exhausted their supply of prisoners. But the sight of land before them, and the promise of looting, pillaging, and feeding brought their spirits right up.

"How shall we take it Cap'n?" his first mate asked.

"Ah how indeed Ms. Callas." He murmured. "How indeed. Tell me, how would you take 'em?"

Bonnie Marie Callas thought for a moment. "Tis a major city Cap'n. Goin' in guns blazing would just attract too much attention. Best we sneak in quiet and take 'em by surprise."

James grinned, and kissed her heartily. "An' that's why I changed ye lass. Well, one of the reasons. Take us in silent Mr. Chapman." He said to the helmsman. We'll be upon 'em before they can raise proper alarm."

"Aye Cap'n."

Quick instructions to the men had them ready to go. Cutlasses readied, pistols loaded. Tonight the cannons would be silent. For the moment anyway.

"Welcome back to San Francisco me hearties." James growled with relish.

To Be Continued…


	4. Jack Sparrow, Night Owl

**Chapter 4**

"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me." Jack sang quietly rifling through the cabinets. He wasn't sure he'd find what he was looking for, a house full of girls, only two boys, one of whom fancied men. He doubted he'd find it. With a girl like Buffy in charge it'd be well hidden.

"Oh," a startled voice behind him. He turned and found the lovely younger sister of the mistress of the house standing in the doorway. "I didn't know anyone else was up."

Jack grinned. "Couldn't sleep either eh?"

Dawn had been disturbed at first by Xander's transformation. It wasn't so much the accent, or his weird mannerisms, as his looking at her with great appreciation. Xander had never looked at her that way, and even when she'd had a crush on him she'd been too young to know what to do if he did.

"I just needed a midnight snack." She answered. "At two in the morning. You?"

"I've been transported centuries into the future into the body of my great great and then some grandson. Who lives in a house full of beautiful women, one pouf, and he's only got one eye with which to gaze upon them. I need a drink love."

Dawn could barely suppress a giggle. "I think Faith has a secret stash around here somewhere." She said, and helped him look. Sure enough, a bottle of Vodka was hidden away in the back of the freezer.

"You're a life saver darling." Jack sighed, taking the bottle like it was a newborn baby. "Care to join me?"

"Oh no way." Dawn grimaced. "I'm way too young."

"Too young to drink?" Jack said doubtfully. "What sort of nonsense is that?"

"Oh, in America you're not allowed to drink until you're 21." She explained.

Jack looked dismayed. "What's this world come to?" he asked. "Surely you're not going to let that stop you?"

"Buffy'd kill me. And you."

"Ah. Well we wouldn't want that of course. Pity. Still, more for me." He took a swig from the bottle and closed his eyes in ecstasy.

"Uhm, just be careful." Dawn warned. "You might have had a high tolerance for alcohol, but I don't think Xander drinks much."

"More the fool him then."

"So you're taking this all pretty well." Dawn decided to change the subject.

"How's that?"

"Well you know, the time travel thing. Not to mention Andrew's story."

"So it was true?"

"Well, not the magic sword or the ninjas, or the gunfight. Or the flying bit. But the rest of it was true. Sort of. The Vampire thing was true."

Jack nodded. "That's what I thought. And Buffy?"

Dawn seemed to know what he meant. "Well all she knows about Pirates is from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Disney world." His face showed he didn't know what she was talking about. "Oh, and she was really scared of Captain Hook when she was a kid."

"Hook?" Jack choked. "Captain James Hook?"

"You've heard of him?"

"I stole a ship from him once." Jack grinned. "Strange bloke that one."

"You mean he's real?"

"As real as Vampires and curses love." There it was. That light in her eyes. The light that her sister lacked. Among her many wonderful features, this was one of the best. Jack was not a sentimental man. Or not very often. But the look of fire in a young girl's eyes got him every time.

"So we told you about Xander," Dawn said, perching on the counter. "Tell me about you."

"What, sailor stories?"

"I bet a pirate would be full of stories."

Another swig from the bottle and he smiled. "Very well, have you ever heard of a man named Cortez?"

Many people hated their jobs. Harold was not one of them. He loved his job. Even though some scoffed at it, to him, it was the perfect fit. He was too prone to motion sickness to be a sailor, but he still loved the sea. So where better to work than at the docks. His complexion made him burn easily, so what better time to work than at night? Maybe most people wouldn't want to be a night watchman at the docks, that made him all the more employable.

The sound of the water lapping against the pylons, the cries of the seagulls, the only thing better would to be a lighthouse keeper, but those were mostly obsolete now.

That and besides his salary the mob paid him to turn his back on a few smuggling operations.

Life for Harold was quiet, but that was the way he liked it. He was a solitary man, never one for the dating scene. And once they invented Tivo he didn't have to miss any of his shows.

Yes Harold loved his life. It was a shame that it was cut unceremoniously short when a man came up behind him and slit his throat. He was dead almost before he knew it. Which was kind of how he'd have wanted to go anyway.

"And then they made me their chief." Buffy heard Xander say.

"No," She thought. "Not Xander. Jack." She stood in the hall, listening. The sun had just started to rise and she'd wanted to get up early. To check up on…him. And he was talking to someone.

"Now you're just showing off." Dawn's voice emanated from the kitchen. Buffy paled at the thought. Dawn had been in the kitchen for who knew how long with that pirate?

"It's the God's honest truth love." Jack said. "All except for the Zombie parrot. That was to add a bit of color."

In spite of herself, Buffy felt herself smile at that. She stifled it. He was a pirate. Pirates lied and cheated, and stole and raped and pillaged and…she shook her head. All she knew about pirates came from that ride in Disney World. But could she trust Disney?

"Dawn," Buffy announced herself, entering the kitchen. "Don't you have homework?"

"It's summer." Dawn said defiantly. Buffy glared at her. "Whatever." The younger Summers sighed. "He's not a bad guy Buffy." She defended Jack as she stalked out of the room.

Buffy turned her glare to Jack.

"I promise," he said. "She's unspoiled. I don't go where I'm not invited. I'm like a Vampire that way."

"Comparing yourself to a Vampire might not be the best course of action when talking to a Slayer." Buffy retorted.

"A point well taken."

"Hope you got some sleep. Faith and Andrew insisted on taking you sight seeing today." She saw the empty vodka bottle on the table. "If that's Faith's, you'd better hope she likes you more than me."

To Be Continued…


	5. The Rock is a Tourist Attraction!

**Chapter 5**

"Good morning!" Andrew crowed. He burst into the kitchen, interrupting Buffy's admonishment to Jack. He was wearing a T-Shirt from Alcatraz that he'd bought soon after they'd first arrived in the city. It hadn't taken long for Andrew, Xander, and many of the others to play tourist. Though to be honest Andrew and Willow had needed to almost drag Xander along.

Andrew had insisted that Anya would have wanted Xander to enjoy himself. Xander had countered that Anya would have wanted Xander to be absolutely miserable and inconsolable for at least the summer before even beginning to recover from her death. But as it turned out, Andrew's enthusiasm and Willow's resolve face made a deadly combination.

Now the young man was almost bouncing with excitement, ready to play tour guide. He had maps and brochures poking out of his pockets.

Faith on the other hand was being rather low key, which Jack appreciated. Andrew was amusing but kind of annoying after a while. The brunette's attitude was a nice counterbalance. And Jack really liked the way that leather jacket was hanging on her. "Hey." she nodded. "Ready to go?"

"Thanks for this." Jack grinned. "There's an air of melancholy lying about this place that's none to my liking." Then his grin turned into a cheeky leer. "And thank YOU darling for wearing that shirt."

Faith snickered and shoved Jack towards the front door. She was wearing a tight tank top that showed off her figure quite well. She turned back to offer Buffy the opportunity to come with them when she noticed the empty bottle on the table.

"Why is the vodka gone?"

"Well now, that's new." Jack mused. The view out the window had not done the view from the top of the hill justice. Nor had the photos in the books. Okay photographs were also a worthy advance in technology. Jack's good opinion was mostly due to the collection of photographs Xander had hidden under his bed. Running water, and photography. Everything else Jack was less impressed with.

But this...this was definitely, if not impressive, than, close to it. The last time Jack had seen San Francisco it had been little more than a tiny, albeit growing harbor town. The thriving metropolis he saw stretched before and below him now was a far cry from that.

The ringing of a bell broke him from his observations and alerted him to the arrival of their transportation. It was not easy to keep from staring at the contraption It appeared to be moving of it's own accord, up the incredibly steep hill towards them.

"We're riding on that? You are brave aren't you."

Jack looked around at the restaurant incredulously. Faith gave Andrew an "are you kidding?" look. "A pirate theme restaurant Drew? Seriously?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." Andrew said defensively. "I thought Jack would like to know people still liked pirates."

"Drew this place is a joke, and it makes pirates look like a joke." Faith shook her head.

"Arrrrrr, me hearties," the waiter said, studiously ignoring the shock on the one eyed guy's face. "I be here to take yer order." The shock gave way to dismay, and really the waiter couldn't blame the guy. He didn't know why he had that eye patch, but what kind of joke did his companions think they were playing on him?

"Rum." Jack demanded. "And lots of it."

"Excellent choice cap'n."

They had rum. Good, at least the place wasn't a TOTAL loss. But..._this_ was what people thought of pirates? That man's accent had been horrendous, and sounded nothing like any pirate. Jack was beginning to despair for his kind's legacy.

Although...

"Who's this singing?"

"Huh?" Andrew tore himself away from defending his choice of eating establishment to pay attention to the music being piped in over the sound system. "Jimmy Buffet."

"I like 'im."

Andrew sighed with relief.

Jack frowned. The bridge was very impressive. And pretty, in it's way. But something bothered him. "It's not gold." He looked closely at the bright orange paint. "It's not even bronze."

Faith snickered. Andrew looked as if this had never occurred to him.

"Good point." the boy frowned as well. "I think maybe it's a reference to heaven. You know, the Golden Gates and all."

Faith snickered again. "Kinda ironic that this is the most popular place to commit suicide then."

"Is it?" Jack looked at her, interested. He looked over the railing then, and nodded. "Aye I can see that."

"Must you be so negative all the time?" Andrew sighed to Faith.

"Oi, what's that?" Jack asked suddenly, pointing to something in the bay. The view from the bridge was fantastic.

"What?" His guides hurried to his side to see what he was pointing at.

"That, that fortress."

"Oh!" Andrew bounced. "That's Alcatraz! It's a prison. Or it used to be."

"What is it now?"

"A tourist attraction."

There was a moment of silence, and then Jack burst out laughing.

Jack declined to look through the windows that allowed a view of the tank, underwater. Crowds of tourists were happy to take his place. The Oceanographic Institute in Sausalito had interested Jack when they'd arrived, and he had no problem with the movies and models and tanks. He just preferred the view from above the surface of the water.

"Are you okay?" Andrew asked. He was getting worried that Jack had not been enjoying himself as much as his guide had hoped he would.

"Most sailors tend to avoid being under the water savvy?"

Faith lifted a brow at the sign identifying the huge aquarium as the "George and Gracie Viewing Aquarium. ABSOLUTELY NO SWIMMING!!!"

"Man they're really hammering home that message. Wonder if they had a problem with that."

Finally they had found something to interest Jack. The Waterfront and Fisherman's Wharf with all the touristy things there seemed to fascinate him. He also seemed to be taking careful stock of each and every bar.

"Right, what's this?" he asked, staring into the wide open door of a video arcade.

"Oh people come here to play uh, games that simulate things like racing, and uh, shooting things." Andrew explained.

Jack frowned. "Their lives are that boring?"

"Hey I like video games, and my life's not boring." Andrew said defensively.

"My apologies mate. Just seems a little strange. You fight Vampires and summon Demons eh? Why do it for pretend then?"

The young man didn't have an answer to that. He fell behind slightly as the group proceeded along. Noticing the look Jack was giving the ships available for touring, old time sailing ships and the like, she shook her head.

"They ain't seaworthy captain."

"Just for the tourists eh? Shame. Fine looking girls they are." he eyed some girls who were walking side by side. "As are they-" They were holding hands. "'Ang on..."

As he unabashedly stared, his eye caught on one particular ship. It seemed different from the other ships. More functional perhaps. The writing on the side proclaimed that it was the Flying Dutchman.

"That's not the Dutchman." he muttered.

Faith and Andrew followed his gaze.

"The Flying Dutchman? Where do I know that name?" the Slayer asked.

Andrew frowned, confused. "Huh, that's new."

"What?"

"That ship, the Flying Dutchman, it wasn't here last time I was down here. Jack what did you say about that not being the...Oh no."

Jack was gone. Slipped away with more stealth than Xander had ever possessed.

To Be Continued...


End file.
